July 17, 2009

Jesus Came to Dinner

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:55 am by Editorial Team

Jesus came to our house and had dinner last night.  I didn’t really want to talk to him, but one of my housemates welcomed him in.

Jesus was drunk, and even admitted it.  He was afraid to go back to his mom’s house before he sobered up.  Jesus was hungry and asked us to feed him.  We were preparing dinner and told him he could join us, but he wanted food immediately, so we made him a sandwich.

Jesus ate his sandwich while telling us about his life — about his health, his family in jail.  He ate his sandwich and was about to leave, but we told him dinner was ready and he could stay longer.  Jesus accepted and sat down with us.  He waited for us to serve him.  Throughout dinner, Jesus had a dirty mouth — he was cursing so much, a sailor would blush.   Jesus complained that our food had little flavor.

He was telling us about how hard and frustrating life had been.  Jesus called us mf’ers several times (not in a malicious way) and joked around with us.  He couldn’t really remember some of our names, but he said he wished he could talk to us sober.

Jesus asked if he could sleep on our floor, and my housemate said he could if he needed a place later tonight.  Jesus needed a bus ticket and some cigarettes, so we gave him money.  He asked for prayers for his family member in jail, so we prayed with him and then he left.

Have you guys seen Jesus lately?

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